JOHNNY: Donald Trump is a very touchy subject for me. As I said on the podcast, I see him through the lenses of being a black man. As a black man, it’s been a very challenging four years. I have some friends who support Trump and it’s extremely hard to reconcile that support with the friendship we have. There are some who are willing to talk about it and we can have an exchange of thoughts and ideas and agree to disagree, however, they still support Trump. As I told a good friend of mine, support for Trump is hurtful for me and my family. There is just no way around it. So I’m trying to navigate those friendships because elections are moments in time but friendships should be forever, right? However, is someone really a friend who supports someone who you fell threatens you and your family’s well being? That’s the quandary for me. Some people have made it easy because they have deleted me from social media and shown me that in fact our friendship didn’t mean as much. Others have stayed connected and we continue to work through it.
Sidenote: Reagan left office over THIRTY years ago; not twenty like I said in the episode.
SUE: How does someone eat an elephant? One bite at a time. In our second episode, we took on an elephant. And I don’t just mean that as in the symbol of the Republican Party.
We chose a huge topic, Friendships and Relationships During the Trump Era.
Here is what I will say. Johnny teased in our first episode that we would disagree when we recorded this topic. And I think I knew what he meant. But because he and I are such fine and civilized folk, when we were done recording, one of my first questions to him was. “did we really get to the disagreement?” It wasn’t until I listened back to the episode while editing that I was sure that we had. We were just so dang polite about it.
As I stated on the pod, friendship, real friendship, to me, is a place where I feel safe. This doesn’t mean friends have to agree on everything or have exactly the same beliefs, but it does mean that ultimately, we have each other’s best interests at heart. In my teens or early adulthood, I felt like I had to be friends with anyone who offered it up. But now, at my age, experience, place in life, whatever, I am okay with dealbreakers. I am okay with saying no to a relationship that doesn’t fit.
Because I’m nothing if not Strongly Worded, I will use my Last Word to share this thought:
Johnny spoke about the echo chamber.
If you are in the echo chamber, you are only listening to that information which reinforces your beliefs. Johnny and I both have friends with different beliefs, who have gone out and heard other sides of the debates and issues, and are choosing Trump. They do that because either they think like he does, or if not, they are able to turn a blind eye to some things in order to get other things that they want.
Now, to some degree we all do that in various ways with various people, but in this election cycle, a vote for Trump leaves people of color, women, LGBTQ, immigrants, sick people, students, mother earth…a vote for Trump leaves all these in a vulnerable position, and if it’s YOUR position, well, I don’t feel safe with you in my life, my friend. Because I feel that you don’t have my best interests at heart.
And I have a hard time reconciling a friendship with someone whose political beliefs leave me, or my family, or my friends that are family, vulnerable. How can you say you love me, but cast a vote that hurts me? In some cases, I have either disengaged, or been disengaged from some of those people. Sometimes it’s been with a conversation, sometimes simply with a click. In other cases, relationships are strained, and time together is much less frequent.
And I think that’s okay. I think it’s okay to have a boundary or to say no to a relationship that doesn’t serve you.
I’m left to wonder, though, do I, myself, hang out in the echo chamber?
I think that’s the more challenging and humbling question, for all of us on all sides. And it lends itself to other topics for other episodes. I have a notepad for just such ideas.
I would love for things to change, to go back to a time where we can respectfully disagree, but there are an awful lot of worms that need to get shoved back into the can before that can happen. It’s not like we are arguing about pineapple on pizza here. Is it possible? Sure. Am I open to it? I am always open to conversation, Strongly Worded as it may have to be.
Two Friends. Two Mics. 